He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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