are you still at the devil's house?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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