Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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