I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
