dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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