guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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