I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
