We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize