god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
People in love make me want to vomit
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
