just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Every concussion has its silver lining
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
