i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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