I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
