4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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