is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
