For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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