I don't think brook has ever known best
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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