So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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