Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize