that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
