Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
