I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
