Is it normal to miss your booty call?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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