I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Randomize
