Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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