Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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