I didn't shave. On purpose
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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