wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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