Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
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We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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