is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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