i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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