he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
