i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
