Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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