I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i came on her dog
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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