pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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