It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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