woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
