Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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