you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
