I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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