Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
