i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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