its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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