I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We had to coat check the pizza.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
