the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
