Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
