so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
