Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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