You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
