I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
