u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
