you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
