I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
