Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Found your dick twin last night
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
