After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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