she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
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he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
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These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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