We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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