sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You were trust falling into bushes
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
