The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
