So drunk, too bad you don't want this
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
