Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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