You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
