He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I deserve this hangover.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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