Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
